You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
