Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm too high and old for this...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
