HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
