This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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