new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My dick has a subreddit
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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