I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
