okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
