Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
