I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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