just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
