is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
