it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
