just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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