That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
