So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
