I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
