When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
