Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It's like God shit irony all over that family
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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