P.S. I can't hear my feet
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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