no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
