Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
