u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
