Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I cut my penus on the lid.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
