hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
