My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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