...so i touched it.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just puked most of my soul out..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
