I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
