belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
