I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
