I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
