My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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