Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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