Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
