you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
