just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
