I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
