Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im six kinds of drunk right now
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
