that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
