If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
