If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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