We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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