im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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