So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
