I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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