I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
