I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
