I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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