Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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