Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
