If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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