I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
