More tranny stories later!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
