I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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