Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
